Vytautė Žališkevičiūtė

For 10 years I was in unhealthy relationships where I constantly felt unimportant, invisible, misunderstood — yet I could never bring myself to end them. I lived with constant anxiety, tension, and guilt, always waiting for 'something to change', but afraid to leave. It felt like I would be alone for the rest of my life…

So when I finally found the courage to end that relationship, I swore to myself that from then on everything would be different — that I would never lose myself in a relationship again, that I would set boundaries, that I would only choose someone beside whom I could be myself. I was certain I knew exactly what I never wanted to experience again.

But the moment I started going on my first dates, I realized I was repeating the exact same mistakes. At first, everything was beautiful, I was walking on air — and then something would happen: the new partner would change, start pulling away, anxiety would creep in, and I would lose myself completely. And so it went, every single time: I lived through the same story with a different person. I couldn't understand why this kept happening, why I 'attracted' people who chose me intensely at first, only to suddenly withdraw. After all, I thought I knew everything about myself: I had spent a decade in therapy, I could explain every one of my traumas and behavioral mechanisms. Yet the moment I met someone new, all that knowledge seemed to evaporate, and the old programming took over.

The stories kept repeating, and it felt like I was simply doomed to either bad relationships or deliberate solitude — I thought those were the only two options. And then, by chance, I found out I had an Anxious Attachment Style, which explained why, without even realizing it, I kept repeating the same mistakes in relationships — and that this was neither fate nor karma. It turns out that the relationship patterns we learn in childhood are later unconsciously repeated in adulthood. And if the bond we had with our parents in childhood wasn't safe (or was even dangerous), we unconsciously choose partners who 'allow' us to repeat that all-too-familiar pattern of insecure relationships.

This discovery became the beginning of my new life.

I immersed myself in the subject of Attachment, absorbing every piece of information I could find. Books, courses, training, expert advice — I was determined to resolve my relationship problems once and for all. On this journey of self-discovery, I found the IAT method, developed in Canada: a clear, science-based system designed specifically for working with Insecure Attachment. After completing the personal IAT course and consistently applying what I learned, I developed a Secure Attachment, and the patterns that once had such a strong hold on my relationships and my life became a thing of the past.

Having experienced firsthand that our relationship patterns can be rewritten, fundamentally changing not only our relationships with others but also with ourselves, I felt a strong calling to share this knowledge with others. I became the first certified specialist in this method in Lithuania, and my mission is to help clients deeply understand their Attachment Style, the recurring patterns of behavior, thought, and feeling in their relationships, and to change them at their root by learning to build healthy, security-based relationships. During the consulting course, we find the roots of these recurring relationship patterns, the client sees exactly why bad relationships keep repeating in their life, and — most importantly — gains the tools to move from Insecure to Secure Attachment.

My signature 20-week consulting course is designed for those who no longer want to repeat the same relationship mistakes and are ready to work on their relationship patterns and change them at their core.